Sex and Solo Travel — A completely innocent and non innuendo’d comparison
So, you arrive in a city you’ve never been to and you decide the best way to see the sights is on a bike.
But it’s been a while since you’ve ridden. You get on and fumble a little. You feel a little awkward.
You may choose to be honest with the person you’re renting the bike from,
“This may take me a second. It’s been a while.” They encourage you to take your time. They’re patient as you make your way out the door and on the street.
Eventually you’re able to stop looking at where your front tire is meeting the road. You relax ever so slightly. You check in with yourself often, making sure you’re still feeling comfortable, and then something beautiful happens: you start to notice what is happening outside of yourself.
You lean into curiosity. You notice things that interest you. You realize you can pull over. You can inquire. You can take a detour.
You realize that everyone on the message boards saying, “You must do this!” or, “Have your itinerary entirely mapped out!!” was spewing bullshit, or, more likely, just regurgitating what they had been taught.
You start to realize exploration is not about the destination.
All of it is travel.
All of it is creative play.
All of it is set by what you want to see, do, experience, or taste next, and how the locals feel about your visit to their most treasured place on earth.
And the good news is if you’re feeling lost, or don’t know where to turn next, you can just pull over. You can take a break, you can stop riding for the day (this part of the metaphor made me lol) or you can ask for directions.
Because although you’ve been on roads before, you might’ve even biked before, you have never biked here. And the ability to take in the world around you, while calibrating how the traveling is going for you, is what makes traveling safe, sustainable, and a damn good time.
So the next time you are confronted with a new city, or a new bike, or a new body, or a new person, or a new experience, lead with:
“What can I explore here?”
“How can I release the expectation that I’m supposed to know everything?”
“How might I let in the moment curiosity be my tour guide?”
- Take your time.
- Check in with yourself often.
- Lead with curiosity.
- When in doubt, ask for directions.
